Life. Is. Messy.

This is a picture of what I've been waking up to for the better part of 2 weeks.  Yes, that is throw-up on his chin. Yes, that is a giant poo stain on his bed. No, he did not get himself undressed. :) I was about to put this boy in the bath tub, as we've done almost every morning for 2 weeks since he wakes up as a complete mess!  Good news? He smells really good for about 2 hours until he throws up again.

It can be easy to think that our lives are all flowers and rainbows now that we're out of the hospital, but it's not.  We still have frustrating days.  Feeding has been a constant struggle.  This boy has the most sensitive stomach of anyone I know and he seems like a complicated puzzle that we're trying to figure out.  Last week, I spent one morning being incredibly frustrated by him because he refused to eat anything by mouth.  Even our speech therapist was stumped.  He knows what to do, he just won't it.  Stubborn.  Ya know what he did that afternoon? He grabbed his foot for the first time ever and stuck his foot in his mouth!  Suddenly, things seemed better.  We've been trying to get him notice his feet for months!

Even though these past couple of weeks have been messy and frustrating, I can't help but look at my sweet little boy and realize that he's just doing the best he can.  He's gotta be one of the happiest babies ever!  This picture is of him right after he threw up and we got his wet clothes off of him and he's smiling away!

Our life is messy.  It's chaotic. But I try to enjoy every second.  Last night, I was reminded of God's grace that He's shown through all of this.  We were able to go to church for one of the first time's since Josiah was born and it was great to be surrounded by a group of believers and to hear God's word.  Our pastor shared Romans 8:18, which stuck with me.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

There will be a day that there will be no more suffering. No more pain. No more tears.  Those days won't come on this earth. Those days will be in eternity with our creator. Oh, how I look forward to those days, even more so now that we've felt suffering.  But as one of my fellow heart mom's said, we didn't go through all of this suffering and watch our boys through all of this pain to live our lives in fear.  We did it so we can live our lives.  Messy or clean. Chaotic or simple. Finding joy.